Rockabye Baby

   

Last week we found out that we’ve lost our second baby. After only 7 weeks with us. 

The day we went to the doctor- I was quiet and was not in the mood to talk to anyone. Mostly because I regret not doing the best that I could to make sure baby is safe. In a way I feel as if I have disappointed Him. 

Throughout the day- I couldn’t help but feel angry at my husband and my in laws. From the beginning of the pregnancy we have to travel a lot despite me being against it. And my anger towards ted is because I feel like I wasn’t taken care of carefully despite going through bleeding since week 4. I also think that him smoking in the house is one of the reason this miscarriage happened.

Our circumstances may not be too good for another pregnancy as I can see the non-acceptance from everyone from my mother to my in laws. To be hinest the only people excited about this one are my sisters in law because they want to see cute babies again😂

…
Dear Baby, 

Mommy is so sorry for not doing the best that I could to have you grow well. If you are waiting for us in Heaven- please pray that we can be the best parents for your brother and siblings in the future so that we can all reunite happily later. I love you no matter what. 
Xoxo