Days to End the 2020

This year is a major roller coaster of so many things. If i have to describe it in a few words i would say it is a year where I mature. I learn to accept things as it is, deal with emotions that I usually avoid and come to terms with certain things that I may not be comfortable before.

A recap. This year my first born went to a better school and boy did he bloom. He grows and learns a lot of things that I should have taught him but realize that I can’t with me working now. He has picked up surah to memorize including Al Fatihah, An Nas, Al Falaq and Al Ikhlas. He has also memorized a few du’as and that warms my heart. I’ve got to say Alhamdulillah for this development in his education. Now it is up to me to uphold this lessons that he has learnt.

We had a wonderful holiday with my in laws and even though it is tiring and major chaos, but we are super happy that we made it. it wasn’t easy though. Would we do it again? maybe not.

Then the pandemic happens and it was a start of a major twist in our lives. Suddenly we are not allowed to go out at all for a few months and some has been forced to work from home. As for my husband- he lost his job and that breaks my heart but Alhamdulillah- he manage to secure another job but the catch is that he has to travel to a different state. Before that we just got approved to buy a house we called ours and it was such a temporary happiness. Now the mortgage has become a burden but also a blessing. this point is where it all becomes serious.

I learn to accept that a job is just another job but to be able to pay up your commitments without any worry is a blessing. I learn that a job well done is more satisfying than a job done because of other people. I learn that in any thing that we do, put Allah first and insyaAllah He will protect you from harm and discomfort. I learn that living day to day life for Allah is so much easier than living for your husband or kids.

With few weeks left for this 2020, I can only pray and hope that this is turning into a better and greater chapter and 2021 is a blessed year where we no longer have to worry financially and I become an even better mother to my boys. Next year my first born will embark on a new journey in a government school where he will learn another language- I hope Allah makes it easy for him.

Let’s keep praying that 2021 is an even better year as it is 33, an age of The Jannah, where it is supposed to be the best version of us insyaAllah.

Room For Positivity

photo of laptop on white table

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Lately I have been avoiding unnecessary negativity in my life and it felt good to be able to do that consciously. I don’t think I am a bad person and I certainly have no control over thoughts in my mind. Sometimes bad thoughts just slips through and as human it is easy for me to just get carried away with them. So, I took the initiative to just avoid. Alhamdulillah, I am now set with much much better thoughts in my mind and heart is at peace. I can focus my energy to better things daily and I have started baking again!

It is now June and we are still under the restricted movement order but with a lot loose ends like dining outside, travel within the district. We still keep our kids inside as much as we could- yes we do move around and they tag along but they just sit in the car gleaming at the outside world occasionally asking for the playground or the malls. It’s a little heartbreaking for them not being able to roam free but for now this is the norm for them.

Work wise has been the usuals- husband has to continue working as usual and that means a job while for me- the government decided that it is still unsafe to open the school so I have been making module for the students to take home and do. I am trying my very best to do so much in so little time in providing access for students to learn by themselves. I need to try and do my best to keep this job- hopefully Allah will see the effort and grant me permanent status asap.

I have also been baking a little bit here and there and I love it so much. I think I need to aim 4 boxes max a day to be able to do this and earn steadily. Love how making cheese tart is also an art for me to try and today since there will be orders, I might brush up on my drawing skills too. Hopefully this can be another back up plan for our future.

Speaking of the future, we are in the process of buying a house- which I think is a long shot but we would love to try. We are already learning so much through the first process and the experience is precious. I might write more about it later.


Gotta go, kid is calling. June please be more exciting.


Thankful List

person writing on a tag

Photo by cottonbro on

It’s almost halfway through Ramadhan and I feel like in the midst of this horrid pandemic, there is a silver lining to it especially to my little family. Here are my very simple thank you list to Allah above all of these;-

♥Thank you Allah for giving me more time to be spent with kids and to teach me about sabr, I am yet far from the perfect mom but each day I should try and be better especially for my first born.

♥Thank you Allah for giving me and my husband steady career for us to nurture our family and to give more and more while we can to those who we can reach.

♥Thank you Allah for putting food on our table and be able to share them with thy neighbours. I really pray that it is scrumptious to them as it is to us.

♥Thank you Allah for the opportunity to be a better muslim husband and wife- may this journey be a steady improvements and set a good examples to our kids. Help us further into this journey Ya Allah.

♥Thank you for allowing my husband to try and be a better person so that I can follow suit.

♥Thank you for allowing my mother to take care of my sick Granma on her deathbed. Can you please grant Jannah to my mom- she is amazing even though frail at times.

♥Thank you for the peace and quiet due to this pandemic- I will surely miss the quieter than quiet atmosphere at night and the dawns are amazing. Subhanallah.

♥Thank you Allah for making it easy for us even though at times it was difficult but when we look back only good things that I can remember. You are amazing, indubitably.


For the remaining of Ramadham I pray that we focus on the greater goal for or hereafter- more solah and sadaqah, more recitation of the Holy Quran, and focus on our deeds towards deen. Please guide me and my husband through this and may this small effort brings more mawaddah into our small family. Thank you Allah, thank you so much, I love you♥♥♥

A little Perspective



blur cars dew drops

Photo by Kaique Rocha on

Recently, I was tested with a disagreement with my husband and his siblings and of course in any order of any family- blood trumps marriage. Which I completely understand. What I don’t quiet get it is that

  1. How can a person who is about to go under the knife went on and causes ruckus in a marriage due to what she said?
  2. How can people that I thought as family would think of something so ill of me- i know them since they were in school and mind you- when we speak of family- no matter how broken, we would want the best and think of the best of them. But no, I was immediately judged as a bad character in the arguments.
  3. In the case of risking your life- does it really matter for you to help? Like it is clear to me when I want people to help is not because I want them to go through so many difficulties and risking their health- I want them to really help without putting themselves in a tight situation. and when I do help- it means that I help without even feeling like it is. burden for me. I’m willing.
  4. How can a person lives so near to her in laws but doesn’t quiet have a good relationship with them- isn’t in laws are as good as your own parents/family? What did you do that causes them not willing to even help?
  5. And what sort of person lives in a place where no neighbour would help when you are in need? Didn’t the Prophet say do good to your neighbour and that is basic fundamentals of islamic way of life?
  6. And after causing so much trouble between me and my husband doesn’t even bother to apologise? and I am way older than her. I guess this answers every question up there.


So this may be the last stretch I would be addressing this- to the person, I have known you since you were in school, we were not close at all and I have no judgement over what you have decided for your life. However, I would say it is a disappointment to not be able to be any closer because of your lack of character. I will not teach or tell you how to live your life – do as you please, but for once, try. Try your hardest to be the very best you could be instead of clinging on to people. Your mother taught you better than that. other siblings can do it, why can’t you. I admire the bond between you siblings and that is something I don’t have in mine but when Your siblings grow- marriage and kids involved it is time to make better decisions and stop scrutinising people for not going your way. I may be a lot of things but never in my mind that I don’t want the best for my sisters. I guess it is a little awkward for me to use that term now that this happens. Have a good life ahead.

The Pox at 31

Yeap, you got the title right- I got the pox at 31. As I am writing this I am still under quarantine. I am not supposed to have any human interactions up to two weeks and according to my doctor- it’s the worst and the most traditional kind of pox that I got.

It started from my head and now in the last leg of the disease, they are at my feet. I also have endured the for about 2 weeks and honest to God, they are far from pleasant. The quarantine that I got was not even fun because I had to endure constant pain, aches and itches all over my body. The worst part of the experience is to have your own husband witnessing the whole growth of boils all over and listening to his funny comments and painful remarks of ouches and oohs.

They say that you can not get it twice. Well well, lookie look who got it the second time in her life and they are absolutely terrible.

There are a few phases going through with the pox. It started with ‘I’m okay, this is bearable’ when the red spots started to appear. During this stage it was just headaches and light body aches which I mistakenly thought due to me lying down too much. Then, it was the phase everything aches where the spots becomes boils and they appear super fast and in areas younger imagine! I even got some in the southern region, near to where I got my episiotomy. Horrible? uh yes! painful? UH fudge yes!! At this stage- I got fever and basically living on paracetamol for few days, can barely walk or sit on the throne properly. Every inch of my body feels like its a bout to pop only that it doesn’t. during this stage I barely feel like myself. I almost cried wailing because I can’t handle the pain and the thoughts of having them all over. Taking a shower is just nightmare especially when you’re about to foam your body and you get to feel all the bumps. After this stage- I started to get my appetite back, slowly eating and gaining back my energy. Slowly feeling like my old self but with a lot less energy. I still couldn’t stand up too long or my head will become woozy. The boils started to dry up or turn a bit yellow. They hurt a lot less but I am super tempted to just squeeze everything out. I would say at this stage they look the most disgusting of all phases and feels very bumpy. Like I don’t even want to look at myself post shower. Sexy is far from describing how I look with all the dots.

I am currently at the drying stage- have to make sure all the boils dries up before Sunday. Because come Monday I should be ready for work. To be honest- the 2 weeks break is needed especially when so much pain involved. It is not exactly holiday for me. I pray that no one ever has to go through this because MasyaAllah- they are indeed a test.


May Allah grants me beautiful health and wealth after this horrid chicken pox! Amen

Ikea’s Personal Shopper

White with Bold Blue Architectural Logo

For the year 2020, we have decided to embark on a new journey to make sure that we have a little something-something on the side. This income shall be the contribution to our future fundings/travel/contingency fund/anything fund. Also, we would like to travel more within the peninsula.  It was just a plan initially and when I suddenly blurted to the colleagues at work they decided that they want to place an order my inner child went…wild.

Anyways, today was the day when we finally get to do the trip I am writing this down here so that we can improve on our services and strategies since it’s a two man job( me and my husband) and two kids.

  1. Timing– The first time we did it we decided to come one day earlier and spent the night at our sister’s house, then the next day be the first customer to actually purchase the stuff before the weekend crowd walks in. This is no good because we end up leaving the house at 10 plus and arrived at IKEA at about 11.30 ish. There are already crowd there. The next trip (insyaAllah) we should just drove from home  straight and leave the kids at their many or something like that. Being at the place early is crucial to avoid crowd and stress.
  2. Kids– the next trip there shouldn’t be with us. Yes, I brought snacks, they have ample rest, well fed before we got there but let’s just get straight about one thing- kids hate shopping. They just wanna run/walk/yell/laugh out loud. Shopping is no business of theirs. If we cannot leave them to their nanny the next trip, we should consider the smaland( play land in IKEA) and submit them there while we do the shopping. It’s a lot of stress when you’re about to snap photos, deals and take the items while the kids are just kids. I think the whole thing would be a lot more fun if we can submit the kids t the Smaland area.
  3. Orders and Payment– I think this part we got it covered. The ordering is as simple browsing the online catalog and submit the request for quotations and we simply reply with the total and details for the customers to. make payment. Only proceed if the clients submit full payments. However, I think we need to revise the percentage to 20% instead of 15%.
  4. Delivery – set the time and date in advance with the clients. Always go with which ever that they prefer so that it will be convenient for them. Remember, the key to this business is that this is a service. We are the ones catering to our clients and not otherwise. Today our biggest problem was the packaging. The IKEA staff assured us that their packaging is waterproof on the inside but we dare not take any chances. So we wrap it up anyways with cling wrap but for our future reference- that may not be the most economical for the business. We should consider buying a tarp instead to cover from the rain. So when we deliver the items, rain shouldn’t be part of our concern at all.

Overall, I think as a team we did a pretty good job. We need to work on our planning for promo while we were there and be on our best mood for the job- it requires a lot energy and positivity so any thing that spoils that would ruin the whole job. I took a tonnes of photos while I was there but I have no idea what to do with them yet. I wanted to record some videos of the items but I was too occupied with kids (I hate that I cannot fully utilise my time there)

It is important to gather as much items for promos as possible because we couldn’t go there every week ( even though we want to! but lets just be real) and the substance that we collected or gather while we were there can be used to constantly promote stuff online and on our instagram page. I learn that daily updates is important to grow the crowd. Hopefully I have enough for now until our next visit which is yet to be determined.

Also a sudden Idea pops in- review on the ikea products!! we have a lot so might as well review them. and post the videos. yassss.

Hopefully after this we can do the transporter business pula. InsyaAllah Amin.




First day of work in 2020

business identity blank stationery set on wood background

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So yesterday, was the first day of work after a month of break for me.  I pretty much look forward to it for a while because as I grow older (and wiser) I find myself loving and appreciating routine. So one month break full of traveling and road trip really messed up my routine ( and oh the kids!) . We end up waking up late, not doing much ( which I hate) instead of the on going schedule of things to do throughout the day. Day by day, I keep listing things up in my mind to do in this new year and some I manage to put it down in this blog and some still lingering in my mind( I should really write it down in here for keep sake because I forget).

Work wise, This year will be a full year for me and the luxury of starting things fro the beginning gives me peace. Hence, I really take an effort to plan and oversee things through simply because I love planning and executing them. Makes me feel accomplished once I manage to cross off the list of things to do.

Prior to work commencing on the 2nd of January, I have made thousands of plans- what to do, what to say, what to achieve- at work, at home, personally. And I realise that  just have to start and do. I don’t need to wait for the right time, the prefect setting to do something. If there is anything that I learn 30 years ago (wow) is that I just need to start if I want to achieve something as long as it is just me. So let’s say my new aim is to make sure my husband brings home cooked meals- I just have to start- by waking up early, by cooking the night before; anything that can get the job done and target achieved.

yes, that’s the spirit.

So work yesterday was fun- simply because I was prepared. Made a time table for my students so that they are prepped, prepped what I want to say and do with the kids. I was prepared yesterday. The only set back was MY stamina is not as much as I wish it could be and that sucks. So I need to start. start exercising. sheesh.

this year’s students are amazing and hopefully we can achieve the target of zero failure in my subject. I have set a few rules for them and I am writing it down here for keep sake. Some of them includes;

1- To have 2 exercise book through out the year.

2- 1 folder or file to keep all the photocopied papers given.

3- Make sure all students pay their photocopy fees of 50 cent.

4- To have all students SPEAK ENGLISH ONLY even when it is incorrect, short sentences. Effort counts.

5- No late comers, ever.

6- Vast Vocab- each student will be given a book for their vocabulary and they are required to memorise the meaning and spelling before they will be tested at any time. Those who failed to answer correctly will be getting monetary punishment that will be going into the class fund.

7- I do not tolerate misbehaviour in my class or around the school. ( I need to instils good values through out my classes, phrases of deeds, exemplary attitude)


that is all that I can remember. today is the second day and let’s hope that Alla ease my journey to teach them, Amin.




Review: Letter To a Young Muslim Part 1

I have started reading books again and this time i decided to start with a self enrichment category. I stared into the limes of books in store and I found myself staring at titles instead of looking for anything spesific (which is not me- i always know what i want)

So this book caught my eyes and attention particularly because of the review said that it is written by the author addressing his son. That caught my attention as I have two boys of my own and wjat better ways to understand and retell this if not my own kids.


I have just read the preface and so far it hits what i would want to see- the why’s of the author in writing the book. I expect a more approachable read, easy to digest input and understandable pov throughout the book. so far, i’m liking it. looking forward to more pages.

golden cup and basket with books

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wood and metal table

Photo by Kaboompics .com on

The last weekend was unexpected, to say the least.  I was nervous about fulfilling my mom’s wish that we go and pay a visit to my grandma who is currently unwell due to cancer. I was nervous few days prior to the visit mainly because I’m not sure how to handle two kids and a sick elderly knowing how short my temper is with the kids not behaving promptly especially in public places.

But kudos to my husband for being so energetic and patient with everything. We had to shuffle in between his family visit and my family meet ups also not to mention my crazy mood of wanting to shop. So, we end up putting up our schedule trying to fit everyone in a day.

Spent the night at his sister’s place and manage to squeeze in a birthday celebration for our niece, Fatimah. A little catch up with everyone pertaining to our island trip next year. Then, the next day we rushed over for our lunch with my uncle and grandma at a hotel buffet. I thought it will be a short lunch but it turned out to be a long one and one poopy kid with tantrum later, we depart with no family photos. Story of my life.   Albeit the conundrums, we are both glad to have that session with my uncle who end up giving us so many tips and advices on finances with him being a former CFO before. I just wished that I can listen and asked more questions but nope, kids demanded my attention and they were already bored. I wanted to buy some books to read and probably a new pair of shoes and some clothes but end up getting a new coffee table and dresser for kids #priorities.

So, that is all that I have to do during this month long break- met mostly my family in all sorts of places. I think it is time for me to focus my energy on work stuff which means I have to send my kids to the nanny in order for me to do so.

I feel like this break- I have all of the time and energy for our big family circle and we do so little things for our small family. The moment I decided that I need to go on a short getaway with the kids to some hotel is when my colleague reminded me that work basically starts this Saturday. sigh.

I kind of need more break but also can’t wait to start work. what. is. this.