Dread

It is an understatement to say to say that my life is challenging now. Things has been rocky and it is not easy. being mentally strong seems bleak.

It is week two for Ted working away from home and I don’t like every single bit of it. Baby A has been difficult too probably from missing his dad too much. At his age his dad is basically his best friend and that one taken away is difficult for him. I can see it in his eyes.

I have been pretty negative too about this whole situations to the extent of blaming some part of it to the divine. Bad, I know.

Truth is, it is so difficult to remain positive when all you got is scraps of your previous awesome life. when so little things are there for you to hold on, being positive seems like a challenge and days goes by corroding each and one of them bit by bit.

At this point of life I am tired of being constantly angry at my husband for not trying hard enough to give me a good life. I got 1001 reasons why he is the reason to all of what I am going through right now but also, 1001 reasons why he is the reason I am still holding on. I am just hoping that I am holding on to something sturdy instead of something so, so fragile and its just me not seeing it now.

 

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