Today in my class, one of the student presented on her book review and she question the audience on how a relationship should be ideal. She told the story of how the character in her book stayed in the marriage for the sake of believing that the rich husband is somewhat good for her and so she can enjoy the luxury of wealth even if without love between her and the husband. My student highlighted that how that is the norm nowadays. People staying in a marriage for the sake of something else but love between them.

So I shared the story of how my best friend who is married to an engineer and has to work far away from a place called home. How she tell herself everyday that she should not get attached or too clingy on to her husband because that would make her feel even worse. 

Another student confessed that she only sees her father once in two weeks time because her father leaves the house early in the morning and by the time he got back she has fallen asleep and the cycle continues. Another student admitted that he only sees his dad once a week due to working distance. 

Being married now, I am blessed to have my husband by my side everyday. In our house we even went to the kitchen together, that is how clingy I am. We used to talk about some considerations of how in his line of work, there are some chances that he must work offshore and apparently for my husband he thinks that it is alright to be far away as long as he is earning more for the family.

I beg to differ. Being married is about being happy with the other person and to me being married but separated by choice is irrelevant. Truly, I believed in Audrey’s quote. I want to be truly married- ironing clothes, preparing meal and making him (or us) fat, buying furniture together, argue about which plate looks nicer, deciding on which pan would function the best for our usage. I want to do all that with my husband. 

It is  true that I do not know what will happen in the future for my marriage- will I be separated far away from him or will we be close together insyaAllah until the hereafter- I have no idea and no control over that. Albeit, I can choose whether to be happy alone even when I have money, or to be happy with what ever money that I have but with a husband to cheer me up by my side. I was also thinking about the future when babies are in our lives, what about them/ do I have to deal with them alone? Do I have to raise them up without the presence of their father? 

I don’t think I have the strength to do that for now. Thank you Allah for giving me a clingy husband who insist on doing everything with me even when I prefer to just stay in and sleep,


What is your ideal partner?




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